Alabama vs. Mississippi State

Nearly every week, we've said, "This is the week MSU gets tested." This week, they do. Regardless of who's playing QB, the Evil Empire is much better than anyone Jackie's pups have seen this year. And if the penalty flags fly the way they did last week, even HRM King Jackie will be at a loss, as will his team. A warning-- as Auburn and Kentucky have both learned to their regret, the Maroon Mutts somehow muster massive momentum in the waning moments. It won't be enough this time.

Bearing the Scarlet Letter upon his cap 20

Shouldn't "Ashley Cooper" be playing for the College of Charleston? 13

Arkansas vs. Tennessee

Memo to Clint: Using the ball as a prop when you're falling over = a sack. You could have saved us untold choruses of "Rocky Top"-- as if we don't hear enough of that as it is. Important Note: Nuttman is 10-0 in the state of Arkansas and the Hogs have a look in their eye we haven't seen in months. Another Important Note: It doesn't matter. Though Orange Julius seems to play down to its competition most weeks, it will get the job done this time.

Hey, lookit us-- we passed Va Tech in the BCS  22

"Babe III: Pig Who's Glad to be in the Western Division" 21

Auburn @ Georgia

John says: "Auburn's offense is the worst thing on TV since 'Leprechauns,' and Quincy Carter is too good."

Van says: "You should try watching it in person, and hey, did you see 'Ally McBeal' last week? Wooo!"

Auburn generally owns Athens, and both looked equally bad against UT and UCF. It should be a closer game than many suspect. But UGA, at its peak performance, is clearly superior to the Tigers and when the game's on the line, you have to think the pound puppies will pull out the win.

For some reason, they named their athletic office building "Butt-Smear" 27

Isn't it time to rename it "Hare-Dye Stadium," and cash in on that lucrative "Grecian Formula" endorsement? 20

Florida @ South Carolina

Spurrier and Holtz: two of the better used car salesmen in all of coaching, except that Steve's selling Cadillacs and Lou's hawkin' Yugos. Clearly, the Gators were looking past Vandy last week to this game, fearing the awesome George Rogers-led rushing attack and the passing of that hippie longhaired... um... say, those guys already graduated, didn't they? So what the heck was Florida thinking?? In any case, this one will get ugly early, and-- how about that-- we made it through our first South Carolina prediction EVER without referencing KFC or Chik-Fil-A or... D'OH!! Maybe next year...

ESPN: Expect Spurrier to Pour it on Nonetheless 45

ABC: About to Bail from Columbia 6

Kentucky @ Vanderbilt

Is it just us, or is Hal Mumme starting to resemble Jerry Tarkanian? Maybe it's just that weird towel thing... Anyway, this could somehow mutate into an interesting game. The defensive genius of Woody vs. the offensive genius of Mumme. A Woody and a Mummy. Sounds like the Clinton-Dole election all over again...

The "Vandy 5-6 season commemorative video highlights" tape will be on sale soon 20

Tim Couch only dreams of the glories of a 5-win season these days 17

> Louisiana State vs. Houston

John says: "Gerry baby, don't buy any long term bonds. If you are not up at halftime you will be escorted off the field by campus security."

Van says: "Ummmm... (yawn)... Hey, did you see 'Ally McBeal' last week? Wooo!"

"The Magic is Back"-ing up to Gerry's house with a big moving van 27

The ol' AstroDome air raid siren just doesn't wail like it used to 17

> Ole Miss - bye

--Tommy Tuberville, 1998